So lets put some truths on the table:
-I worry more and more about my lack of memory. Like to the point I think I need to be tested. How long does chemo brain last? Some friends think its funny, but its making me VERY scared. I can't remember the simplest things anymore. Shit, I'm too young for this.
-I suppose if I'm too young now for this, I was certainly way too damn young for cancer those years ago too. Now I'm angry.
- I think its taking every iota of failing strength I have to go to work this summer. I'm burned completely out. The thought of a sabbatical is like heaven. The thought of being homeless and hiding from Sallie Mae is hell though. So I work.
-I have a huge craving for a Crumbs cupcake. And some Funyuns. I'd think I were pregnant if I were getting some currently. Or even had reproductive organs still in tact. Ah well....
-I put wine in a water bottle today. No need for alarm I only poured 5 oz but I didn't use a wine glass. I'm tired I'm in bed and I didn't wanna knock over a wine glass. Ghetto I know but.... empty bed means I do what I want.
-Empty bed. Empty heart. Damn.
-I worked out two days last week. And none so far this week. I guess I should be disappointed with myself. Someone give me some motivation, some scolding, something. Cause right now I don't give a damn.
-I lost a loc in the middle of my head. 7 years in and NOW I lose a loc.
-The Frank Ocean concert last night was simply amazing. No glitz and glamour just his headband and a mic. And the ENTIRE crowd was rocking and singing every lyric of every song. I damn near lost my shit when he sang "Swim Good".
-I really wanna go to a concert by myself. And terrified of doing so all at the same time.
-I need a concert boo. Like someone who really GETS music. Cause going with folks who aren't really TRUE music heads is not as much fun.
-I post my Truthful Tuesdays to my blog. And link it to my FB & Twitter. I think I'm a bit starved for a true listening ear.
-Someone sent me a "Season of singleness" email recently. It took everything within my being not to send back an email laced with all kinds of four letter words and threats to lives. I didn't ask for the email. I don't even speak regularly to its sender. All I know is I felt the heat of "Shut the fuck up" anger coursing through my veins. Did I mention the person who sent it is married? I typed Shut.The.Entire.Fuck.Up.And.Go.Kill.Yourself. 3 times but never sent the email. Damn my conscience.
-Big White Room. (If you don't know do some research)
-Lately its been pissing me off that I don't/can't have a public twitter account. Don't tell me just do it, I have a career where I can't have clients following me. So annoying and confining. Its made me temporarily lose my mojo for tweeting regularly. I feel like I'm talking to myself sometimes.
-I think my tumblr followers/followees should connect with me on Twitter. Some of you are awesome picture posters. I can only imagine what your tweets are like.
-Had a very vivid dream recently. Or maybe it was a daydream but either way it made me sad.
-If it comes true I'll be even sadder.
-The saying "the grass is always greener..." never guilted me into submission. I still get jealous of a whole lot of people for a whole lot of reasons.
-I'd like to scream. Really loudly.
-I still want some Funyuns. Followed by a cupcake.
-Someone to split the bills with is on my bucket list with.
- If someone sends me a "Season of Single Independent Woman" email after reading that last post, I will borrow the machete my mom keeps in her closet.
-I can't remember the thought I had that made me want to do a Truthful Tuesday post today. I kept telling myself to remember it cause it was the whole reason why I wanted to post today. Or what I was doing before I started this post. I also can't remember what I was supposed to put in my purse tonight that I need tomorrow. Or what my supervisor asked me to do before the end of the week. Or what I wore yesterday.
-But I do remember the cupcake.
-And the Funyuns.
-I worry more and more about my lack of memory. Like to the point I think I need to be tested. How long does chemo brain last? Some friends think its funny, but its making me VERY scared. I can't remember the simplest things anymore. Shit, I'm too young for this.
-I suppose if I'm too young now for this, I was certainly way too damn young for cancer those years ago too. Now I'm angry.
- I think its taking every iota of failing strength I have to go to work this summer. I'm burned completely out. The thought of a sabbatical is like heaven. The thought of being homeless and hiding from Sallie Mae is hell though. So I work.
-I have a huge craving for a Crumbs cupcake. And some Funyuns. I'd think I were pregnant if I were getting some currently. Or even had reproductive organs still in tact. Ah well....
-I put wine in a water bottle today. No need for alarm I only poured 5 oz but I didn't use a wine glass. I'm tired I'm in bed and I didn't wanna knock over a wine glass. Ghetto I know but.... empty bed means I do what I want.
-Empty bed. Empty heart. Damn.
-I worked out two days last week. And none so far this week. I guess I should be disappointed with myself. Someone give me some motivation, some scolding, something. Cause right now I don't give a damn.
-I lost a loc in the middle of my head. 7 years in and NOW I lose a loc.
-The Frank Ocean concert last night was simply amazing. No glitz and glamour just his headband and a mic. And the ENTIRE crowd was rocking and singing every lyric of every song. I damn near lost my shit when he sang "Swim Good".
-I really wanna go to a concert by myself. And terrified of doing so all at the same time.
-I need a concert boo. Like someone who really GETS music. Cause going with folks who aren't really TRUE music heads is not as much fun.
-I post my Truthful Tuesdays to my blog. And link it to my FB & Twitter. I think I'm a bit starved for a true listening ear.
-Someone sent me a "Season of singleness" email recently. It took everything within my being not to send back an email laced with all kinds of four letter words and threats to lives. I didn't ask for the email. I don't even speak regularly to its sender. All I know is I felt the heat of "Shut the fuck up" anger coursing through my veins. Did I mention the person who sent it is married? I typed Shut.The.Entire.Fuck.Up.And.Go.Kill.Yourself. 3 times but never sent the email. Damn my conscience.
-Big White Room. (If you don't know do some research)
-Lately its been pissing me off that I don't/can't have a public twitter account. Don't tell me just do it, I have a career where I can't have clients following me. So annoying and confining. Its made me temporarily lose my mojo for tweeting regularly. I feel like I'm talking to myself sometimes.
-I think my tumblr followers/followees should connect with me on Twitter. Some of you are awesome picture posters. I can only imagine what your tweets are like.
-Had a very vivid dream recently. Or maybe it was a daydream but either way it made me sad.
-If it comes true I'll be even sadder.
-The saying "the grass is always greener..." never guilted me into submission. I still get jealous of a whole lot of people for a whole lot of reasons.
-I'd like to scream. Really loudly.
-I still want some Funyuns. Followed by a cupcake.
-Someone to split the bills with is on my bucket list with.
- If someone sends me a "Season of Single Independent Woman" email after reading that last post, I will borrow the machete my mom keeps in her closet.
-I can't remember the thought I had that made me want to do a Truthful Tuesday post today. I kept telling myself to remember it cause it was the whole reason why I wanted to post today. Or what I was doing before I started this post. I also can't remember what I was supposed to put in my purse tonight that I need tomorrow. Or what my supervisor asked me to do before the end of the week. Or what I wore yesterday.
-But I do remember the cupcake.
-And the Funyuns.
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