I'm a G---- Plain and Simple

I'm a G.

I suppose I could have just posted that sentence as my blog for the day, along with the treasure I gathered today and trust me it would have sufficed....but in the spirit of honesty (and apparently entertaining my faithful blog readers) I'll share the last hour of my life.

I just came back from a trip to the 7-11 for some snacks. Any other day (or week) you all would have been looking at me sideways for even sharing such a mundane piece of news. But for those of you who live in the DMV then you know exactly the importance of this one, I, Sophia Kayla (insert full cute gov't last name, with the accent) tackled snowtoriousBIG all by my lonesome down to the 7-11 and back and live to tell the story (albeit a bit sore).

Somehow this morning I got a burst of cabin fever. After almost 7 days of hibernation (minus one trip to the 7-11 after the first storm which was not as harrowing as this one) I got the fever for the flavor of--- Funyuns & coffee ice cream. That and I had amassed 2 bags of trash that had to be taken out (amazing how bad orange peels, leftover pancakes and salmon bones smell after a few days). Armed with my self fully insulated out I went.

I should stop here to mention that this morning, I watched, (and died laughing) at the first poor soul who ventured out to try to beat the crowd to shovel his car. Apparently he forgot about the random single steps that plague the walkways down to the street and homeboy fell 4 times (once landing squarely on his shovel) on his way. 8am and I laughed like the mean girl I apparently have hidden inside of me. In my defense the first time he fell I didn't laugh. The 3rd time I didn't laugh until he got up cause I thought for sure he was hurt after landing on his shovel like that. By the 4th time I was doubled over in fits of laughter quickly wiping away the tears so I wouldn't miss a possible 5th fall. So you see my friends, karma was NOT on my side.

I do well with lists so here we go. In summary:

- I'm not as tall as I thought. Snow up to my thighs is quite scary.

-How does one carry two full bags of trash through unplowed snow to the trash bins? Very slowly and using the trash bags to break small falls on said random steps mentioned above in 8am shoveler story.

-Getting up a flight of stairs that has not seen a shovel since 2 snowtoriousgBIG storm hit them, but have been flattened into a hard sheet of snow/ice from folks who had come before me is NOT easy. I had to fling the bags on my back and grab onto the banisters for dear life to pull myself up those steps. TOLD YOU I'M A G

-Getting back down those same steps was even more treacherous (I missed the cushion of those trash bags). I made it down without a fall then looked up smiling proud of myself for making it. Then promptly fell the smile replacing itself with horror. I fell in soft untouched snow so to disguise my fall and save the embarrassment from the 3 guys shoveling out their car, I acted like I was making snow angels. (note to self- snow angels in 3 ft of snow is not a snow angel)

At this point Smart Sophie would have cut her losses and headed back to the apartment. Funyun loving Sophie is too prideful (greedy) whatever....

-Going down to Russell Ave, I fell only once more (Careful remembrance of where those random steps are were very helpful). TOLD YOU I'M A G

-Going down Russell Ave was like a war zone. Masses of people were out trying to dig out their cars dig out the street, everything.

-It was like an old skool revival with everyone's cars blasting the same radio station. Shoutout to whatever station was playing the cupid shuffle during part of my journey.

-I was so happy to be in the street and away from the huge mounds, I was smiling again, thinking of even helping some of my neighbors with their shoveling when I came back with my wares. Everyone was being so friendly, felt like I was in the deep south.

-Just because its flattened snow/ice as opposed to 3 feet of snow doesn't mean you can walk carefree (and try to do a bit of the cupid shuffle on your way). Fell just one time though on the way down, but thankfully for me I could reach out and break my fall with the brother with his back to me taking a break from shoveling. (Thanks man, I didn't mean to grab you so hard, but good that you braced yourself once you heard my yelp and felt my claws digging in.)

-Lots of couples were walking down the hill too. Random sister who squealed and grabbed their boo every time their foot shifted. Who needs all that, can't be the damsel in distress with options if you're already hooked up.

-The road in front of the 7-11 is pretty clear. I quickened my pace. Pavement is pretty.

-7-11 is the convenience store in the midst of the above mentioned war zone. Why didn't I think of that as I risked my life getting down there?

-I'm (apparently) not the only one who likes Funyuns.....DAMMIT

-I'm (obviously) not the only one who likes Haagen Daaz coffee flavored icecream.

-I will subsitute Breyers Icecream in cases of extreme emergency (or snowtoriousBIG). I will NOT however touch Ben & Jerry's.

-Take a quick guess as to which brand of icecream was left on the shelf?

-Take a quick guess as to who found the lone hidden container of Breyers hiding behind some disgusting flavor of B&J? TOLD YOU I'M A G.

-Trying to walk even quicker back up the hill to the apt is never ever wise.

-Falling in front of a pack of Howard U students standing around is not embarrassing as I thought. Having to run to pick up the container of Breyers that fell out of my bag and rolled into a puddle of smud (snow-mud) is.

-Catching the hateful side eye that a girl gave me cause her apparent boo was the one who helped me up is a bit scary....chick please, I have fallen no less than 8 times in 3 blocks and 20 minutes and am wet down half of my body. I do not want your college boo! G's don't want college boos. lol Brave side eye thrown right back at her and I sauntered(ever so carefully) away. TOLD YOU I'M A G.

-The last time I fell was right in front of my apartment. I didn't even try to break my fall, its soft snow and I'm was happy for the break. I think I heard someone laughing from inside the building, might have been my 8am shoveler. You know what, you got it boo, I owe you, after all you paved the way for falling today.

-That was one long ass walk! I was sweating like a pig, but happy my insulation (two pairs of socks, sweatpants and ugly puffy coat) helped to keep me from any broken bones.

So dear folks, you can go back and count how many times I fell if you'd like, I refuse to put the total here.....just know that I am home, comfy and sans a bruise on me. I am a bit sore though, but I think that workout beat any other one I've done this week (hmmmm have I done any this week??)

And my treasure is chilling in the freezer.
And I, on my couch....
I'M A G

A little musical inspiration