Footwashing Love.....

A college buddy of mine had as her Facebook status this morning: "is trying to remember what it feels like to fall in love". Another college buddy: "Forget love, I'd rather fall in chocolate". My Mom was in the advice giving (even though I didn't ask) mood last night. Her advice: "Marry an ugly man cause he'll always be with you, will wash your feet (somehow foot washing has deep implications for her) and you can walk around with him on your arm and not be worried that other women are going to steal him". (Imagine that coming from my little cute Momma with the cute Haitian accent, and know it was a push to NOT die laughing). A while ago had a convo with a good friend on the debate between whether to wait until a relationship is serious to have sex, or should you have sex to "test the waters"; whether love is a feeling you act on or whether you act on the love because of what you're feeling......or did I just say the same thing? lol

So many conversations about love around me....and I'm not in love, like, or anything else.....Really and truly life is so boring that save for the cutie on the train I run into every now and then, or the boo at the conference who was sexy as hell...ummmm not any really prospects around. Sometimes I'm ok with that, other times....stay away.

IMO, I'm all for that wonderful feeling of falling in love (or like) but I'd rather have the commitment that comes to being in love....you don't always feel it but you know its there... and it lasts longer. Its kinda like the couple that spends ridiculous amounts of time and money planning a wedding, but does absolutely no prep for the marriage. Stupid right?

I personally believe folks need to figure out their definition of love before they get into their next relationship. That way they can categorize better. Booty calls you don't love....dare I say it again? You DON'T love a booty call. (By the way folks, booty calls are not just one night stands, they can be the brother who's dating you for a year or two too...let that one marinate for a while).

You'll fall in lust with a cutie, you'll fall blind for a man who's sweet talking you, you'll even fall into ignorance for the man who tells you he doesn't want you but you try to force it anyway. But, you'll love the man who'll grow with you. Cause he's not perfect and neither are you. So when those wonderful butterfly feelings fade, find out what you're left with and then you'll decide whether its really love.

For me love is about commitment. I love my career so I'll commit to excellence at my job. I love my family, so I'll commit to tolerate family drama. I love my friends, so I'll commit to always agree to disagree....I'll love that man who'll commit to being with me, in whatever that means. Commit to being patient, commit to being understanding, commit to a being faithful, commit to pushing me to try new things, commit to understanding what it really means to be the head of household, commit to pushing me to do better than I did the day before, commit to loving me even when I don't love myself....the list of commitments go on and on...really its no different than what I committed to do in loving my family and friends.

My Mom had a point in her own way. Although she didn't quite articulate it well, what I'm thinking (or rather hoping) she was trying to say is that sometimes we need to go beyond just the physical to see what longer lasting things a man has to offer (and vice versa HELLO PEOPLE) and how that blends with what a woman truly needs. Cause really any man willing to wash feet is a keeper right?