I'm at a loss for words to really express my gratitude to ALL the people in my life who kept me going these last 10 years. I kinda cringe when people say I'm an inspiration, or a strong person cause I certainly feel none of that. To me I've been the biggest wuss these 10 years in a fight I really REALLY didn't ever wanna be in. You all do know I'm a wuss right? :-)
So thank you. TO ALL OF YOU! You may not have known it but every single person who's kept me going is the ONLY reason I'm here. I suppose if I am doing a proper thank you speech I should start with "First giving honor to God who is the head of my life... :-)"
OK I'll stop being silly.
Seriously....its hard for me to remember a lot of things (that chemo brain life is REAL you all) but I do remember folks that have done everything and anything to help me crawl to this milestone. I remember random things at random times but just so you know its real (hehehe...) here we go:
-To the person that cut off the rest of my hair when I woke up a day after my first chemo treatment with 45% of my hair on my pillow...
-To my Mom who has ALWAYS been my biggest supporter. This lady is my true RIDE OR DIE CHICK!
-To my sister who laughs at ALL my medical jokes and reminds me its ok to make people feel comfortable any way I can through this experience and laughter is is for me...
-To the person who brought me a freezer full of Edy's Popsicle sticks when that was all I could stomach...
-To the person who came and sat with me at the hospital one whole night....just because...
-To the person who calls me M'hija and to the one who calls me Slice...
-To the God that continues to love me, in spite of...
-To the person who called my Minister/Mentor/Friend when I LOST it one night at my apt...
-To the people who aren't afraid to ask me my story...letting me talk about it has been healing...
-To the people who read my blog posts and don't ignore my rants and complaints...
-To the person who wrote a blog post about me at the exact moment I didn't feel any kind of courage...
-To the people who celebrate with me every year...
-To the Minister that prayed over me...
-To the people who take a moment to text, tweet, FB, tumblr me and you don't even know me in real life...
-To the person who get me...and knows what shm, lol ol, behind the scenes situations are all about...
-To my sisters in the fight who remind me that I'm not alone...
-To the people I didn't even realize were praying and pulling for me and never said a word...
-To the two friends I've known since Middle School who treat me like a sister and have my back at ALL times...
-To the person who brought me the most beautiful yellow robe in the hospital that I still have to this day...
-To the person who told me about the Cancer Survivors retreat years ago....a week in Vermont I will remember forever...
-To the person who took me to my chemo appointments...
-To the people who don't understand but act like they do...just to support me...
-To the students over the years who allow me to love them like they're the kids of my dreams...
-To the person who introduced me to Eva Cassidy's music...Live at Blues Alley....I listened to it for a straight year, everyday...
-To the medical professionals who take the time to research beyond the "stats" to treat me not like a freak but a person who doesn't "fit the OVCa profile" but still needs to survive...
-To the person that allowed me to be a part of the article that shared their courageous story...
-To the sisters who've lost the battle...
-To the future MAN who'll love me, in spite of...
-To the woman who'll read this and it'll inspire them to make the Doctors fully examine them...
And to some other folks:
-To the men who said he couldn't handle my skeletons and left before I could prove I'm still a woman.....
-To the sisters who don't treat their kids like the gems they are and don't understand that my choice was taken away from me...
-To the medical professionals who didn't believe me when I said something was wrong....
-To the people who say chemo brain isn't real...
-To the medical professionals who need MY support when my face/age/lifestyle/race doesn't match THEIR profile of what an Ovarian & Uterine Cancer survivor should be rendering them speechless when I walk through the door...
-To the people who say "its not a big deal"
-To my ovaries, fallopian tubes, cervix, uterus that decided they couldn't hang around in my body....
-To the people who don't understand what medical menopause does to a 26 year old body FOR LIFE...
-To the haters who do everything they can to demoralize, devalue and cause more pain...
A song for All of you: Its nice and cheesy but I promise you....its the only way I know how to say THANK YOU
For all those times you stood by me
For all the truth that you made me see
For all the joy you brought to my life
For all the wrong that you made right
For every dream you made come true
For all the love I found in you
I'll be forever thankful baby
You're the one who held me up
Never let me fall
You're the one who saw me through through it all
You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'coz you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me
You gave me wings and made me fly
You touched my hand I could touch the sky
I lost my faith, you gave it back to me
You said no star was out of reach
You stood by me and I stood tall
I had your love I had it all
I'm grateful for each day you gave me
Maybe I don't know that much
But I know this much is true
I was blessed because I was loved by you
You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'coz you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me
You were always there for me
The tender wind that carried me
A light in the dark shining your love into my life
You've been my inspiration
Through the lies you were the truth
My world is a better place because of you
You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'coz you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me
2 comments:
Beautiful...and trust you are loved more than you know by so many of us...always remember that! Thank God you're still here as a testimony to others and a source of encouragement for me and folks you don't even know around the world. Love you to life!!
Love you always my lil sis. This was beautiful. And you are an inspiration and more. You're one tough pink cookie!!!
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