Trying to decide.....what I chose to remember

I've spent a few days going back and forth trying to decide if I should do what most of the world of bloggers have been doing...blogging about the life/controversy/legacy that is Michael Jackson.

I'm not going to say much different than what's been said. Been reading and agreeing and sometimes disagreeing and crying. My favorite thus far is my fellow blogger and Cancer Vixen buddy, Chana. Check out her latest post, The Man Behind the Mask. I think she says most of what I want to say best.

My comment on her blog:
Your post was brutally honest, and probably what those who have suffered and have a love for Michael J. are thinking. What hurts me most about his death is the fact that he never got a chance to redeem himself, for himself. Not in the public eye, because I doubt the world would ever truly give him his due. A lifetime of self doubt and low self esteem was hidden at first by a talent the world will NEVER EVER KNOW AGAIN. People can argue the talents of many others, but no one will have ingredients to blend the specific recipe that was MJ…

Death is timely and for God's reasons. A lot of times we don't understand or want to accept that this man's life was over at exactly the time that it needed to be. I love Michael and would have loved to empty my bank account just one time to catch him in concert, but I accept that God said his time for pain and suffering was over. I could never expect to understand what it felt like to be him for 50 years. So many accolades and fame, but at a heavy price. Michael was human and living every stage of your life in the public eye is something most people truly wouldn't have wanted. Whatever his mistakes, triumphs, struggles and secrets were, I respect that it was his life to live and remember that no amount of money can steer your from the bumps in the road that his life as will ALL of our lives will take. Many of us struggle each day to get up and go to work and put on a mask of happiness that hopefully gets us through a few hours and then save for spouses, children, family and friends, we get a chance to come home and face our own demons. The door closes and we can chose to bury our mistakes and broadcast only what the world wants to hear. Michael didn't get that option. Every single second of his life was scrutinized....from the moment he stepped into the role of the entertainer. The job never stopped. For those of you who chose to dwell in the controversy, submit yourself to having all of your mistakes, deep dark secrets and even a few hundred lies said about you submitted for the world to judge and tell me how you feel in a few years. Even in his passing, his family isn't even really being given the chance to mourn his life.

I chose to remember the beauty that was Michael, what other man could ever wear high waters, white sock and penny loafers and STILL have manly swagger. I chose to remember the love music that STILL makes me want to slow dance with my first real crush . I chose to remember the beats that make EVERY single person in a room get up and dance to a classic that brought you back to a younger more innocent time in your life. I chose to remember videos that had me sitting in AWE of its genius and the genius maker. I chose to remember the HAPPINESS in his face when he talked about his children, and the many children around the world he loved. I chose to remember the LIFE he wanted to live and all the things he wanted, including happiness.

I of course will miss him and his talent immensely but at last, maybe in death and heaven he will find that peace he's been looking for all these many years. RIP Michael Jackson