Ever have those days when you wonder "what would life be like if....?" I'm having one of those days. I think its due to all the recent reconnections on Facebook. Facebook has made me reconnect with everyone and I do mean everyone, I've come in contact with since elementary school. Friends who you remember from double dutch and playgrounds, from first crushes, to friends you gabbed on the phone with for hours on end (those were the days). The one annoying thing about it is the constant repetition of what I've been up to, the past few years. For me its always the question of whether I share the good with the bad and to what extent. Kinda awkward to share my cancer experience with a friend from the playground, but since its such a part of who I am and why my life has been the way it has the past few years, its kinda weird not to mention it.
So for all that recapping I do, it makes me wonder. Not depressed, not sad, not angry (and certainly not bitter) more curious. So many friends are now married with children....some married now divorced and it makes me wonder.....what would life have been like if I had chosen marriage and kids early on?
I don't have any deep revelations here, no long diatribe about the merits or annoyances of my life. Just thoughts.....Can't help but think about it.
2 comments:
Ya know what? I feel that way sometimes too, I look at folks pics and see their weddings, kids, vacations and sometimes that green monster creeps up on me, but then I remember the times when my life looked peachy keen on the outside, but was a hot mess behind closed doors, so I know the grass ain't always greener. Plus, my experiences made me into this glowing piece of awesomeness and how could I be mad at that?
Facebook has made me think twice about some of the choices I've made as well. I've also faced the awkwardness of talking about my battle with cancer, so much so that I find myself blurting it out as soon as someone accept's my friend request, lol. I can't hide it, I'd never deny it, it's a huge part of who I am and I'm proud of who I am, especially of how I've handled such adversity's...I totally understand where you're coming from, as I too have wondered...
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